- Yeah? - Hi.
We're having car trouble.
- Can we use the phone? - I don't have one.
- That's okay, we don't have a car. - I don't get it.
This clear it up for you?
No, I'm afraid not. I'm blind.
It's not permanent. It comes and goes.
We could've killed you.
It's natural to defend one's property.
Worth giving your life up for?
Not that particular spot. It's rented.
Well, what the hell are you doing up there all alone, asshole?
That's okay, call me Nick.
I'm a writer, working on a book.
What line of work you fellas in?
Stop at the next station, asshole. We need some gas.
- Where are we going? - Carmel.
- Oh, yeah? Nice town. - Got a nice bank.
- You ever knock off a bank? - Me?
Not that I can recall.
- Your first one. - Rob a bank?
- You, me and Bee Gee. - Why are we doing that?
- Because that's our line of work. - I see.
Here, writer.
- Remember where this gun is. - Right side, middle of the ribs.
- What'll it be? - Fill it.
- Regular? Premium? - Regular. Premium's fine.
Check the hood?
Yeah. No, it's been checked, thanks.
- Can I go to the bathroom? - No.
Ever?
- Just relax. - I'm relaxed.
Nice day for a drive. Tell me...
- ...where you going? - Carmel. Oregon.
Then up to Oregon. That's home.
Nice country. Eighteen even.
- Eighteen even. - Pay the man.
You have my wallet.
On vacation?
Business. Vacation. Fishing trip.
Eighteen out of 20. Here you are.
Yeah, keep the change.
- Which way? - We know it.
Move it.
I don't know. We may have to call it off.
- I can't find parking. - Circle till someone leaves.
Here's a dumb question. Why do you need me?
You look honest.
You're gonna go up to the teller and hand her this.
"It's a stick-up. Give me all the money.
Make one sound and you're dead."
- Good writing. Take it from a pro. - Thanks. You see?
There's a spot. Across from the bank.
- What's this for? - Make sure she sees it.
- She'll know you're for real. - Let's go.
What if I kill you once we're in?
How? We don't have no bullets.
- Just kidding. - Let's go.
There you go. Thank you.
Bye-bye. Next?
Next?
- Hi. Can I help you? - You can.
- What's this? - Read it. It's self-explanatory.
- Oh, my God! - I know. I feel the same way.
- What do I do? - I don't know. Let's look.
"Stick-up, give me the money. One sound, you die." Bless you.
- Should I pick it up? - Yes. No, leave it.
- Leave it? - Get it.
- What do you usually do? - I don't know. You want change?
Yes, please.
- No change. Keep the change. - No?
I have nothing to do with this. It's them. Look.
It's not even loaded.
- Oh, God, please, don't hurt me. - I won't.
- Hi, Helen. - Hello, Mrs. Herman.
Do you mind going to another window? I'm getting a payroll. Thanks.
Tell the police this wasn't my idea, okay?
Thank you. Nice job.
Are you all right, sir?
Oh, shit!
Jesus!
Well, I'm thrilled too, Stanley.
Well, you know how I've wanted it. I think I can do a hell of a job.
Thanks, that means a lot to me.
I have some ideas I want to discuss. Shall we have dinner next week?
Tuesday night at our house?
Aurora's chicken pepperoni.
I know you love it. Thank you very much.
Attorney general, California. The governor's backing me.
- Congratulations. - Thanks.
- I knew you'd make it. - I've saved these for four years.
- Wait until you see this. - Hang on. Get my wife, please.
Call her later, please.
- Hold on. What's wrong? - Recognize him?
No. He looks a bit like my wife's first husband. Who is he?
- Your wife's first husband. - Gardenia? What'd he do?
Knocked off a bank in Carmel. Got $7000 plus.
Handed the girl a note, flashed a gun and left.
If they want you for attorney general, it's your first case.
Is this a gag?
This is the government. We've no sense of humour.
He was seen driving away with two men.
- There's no picture of them. - Putz.
Doesn't know how to rob a bank, looks at the camera.
Is that makeup?
This plus his jail time in Mexico will aid the opposition.
- They never proved the drugs were his. - He had five kilos in the car.
- A three-minute trial isn't justice. - Ira, you have my vote.
We live in a conservative state. Consider your image.
It's better he's caught. What're the police doing?
The usual. Roadblocks, helicopters, dogs, big dogs. Anything else?
Can we call the Air Force and ask for saturation bombing?
Thanks, Glenda.
Is there any reason why the sentence shouldn't be imposed?
- No, Your Honour. - All right.
Due to the circumstances, I'm releasing your clients...
...Robert Broken Feather and Thomas Jefferson Wolf Call...
- ...on probation. - Thanks.
I do not condone their behaviour, and as a condition...
...they must repay Welfare some $326.41 in damages.
What would you do if your checks were withheld for six months?
I'd rely on my pension.
I want to see them in three weeks, employed or with good reason why not.
Or I shall reconsider my decision.
I'll see to it that they have jobs.
- Thank you, Mrs. Parks. - We're grateful.
It's okay.
- Can we buy you a beer? - You're on probation. Try Dr Pepper.
I want you both in my office at 9 a.m.
A ranch in Topanga Canyon needs help with their horses. Interested?
We can't ride.
Can't ride? Great! What can you do?
I was in the Navy. Served on the bridge.
Maybe the stable needs some help with their boats. Bye.
Bye. Let's get out of here.
- How'd we do, boss? - We won.
Don't call me boss. Didn't you see Roots?
- Where'd you get the hat? - A chauffeur.
- Stole it? - Found it.
- Where? - On a chauffeur.
I made you a chauffeur so you'd stop stealing. Why do this?
I wanna be as good at this as I am at stealing.
There's a certain sincere logic in that, I suppose.
I hope you won't be offended, but...
...I gotta get back to work, and I need to quit the gang.
I'd give up my share of the money. I'd be sworn to secrecy.
I think we've all grown closer since this morning.
- What do you say, Bee Gee? - If the man wants out, let him out.
Thanks, Bee Gee. Forget I mentioned the name.
Is this a good spot here?
Maybe near a bus depot. Or here. Here's good. I like here a lot.
Okay. Step out any place you want.
Any chance of stopping the car first?
How about slowing down to 55?
Not here!
You know you ran a stop sign?
Can't help it. I can't read while I drive.
What about my raise?
Raise? I can't afford you now. It's my 12th case in this suit.
8:15 tomorrow morning.
Hi. Hi, fellas.
You're smothering me! A simple hello will do.
Who peed? Don't blame the cats, they're not here.
- Hi, honey. - Hi.
Come on, come on, you bad dogs.
You know, if it embarrasses you, I'll bow out.
I know as much as you do.
She just got in. I don't think she knows.
Aurora, you sound grouchy.
Six dogs, two cats, five goldfish, a chauffeur, a man and woman to feed...
...and none eat the same food.
- Five dogs, not six. - There's a guest.
Oh, my God! Where did he come from?
If I was a dog, this is the first place I'd visit.
He must've been the one who peed.
It's nothing compared to the stairs.
I'll clean it. Don't tell Mr. Parks.
- He won't notice for weeks. - He will if he doesn't wear slippers.
Sorry, Stanley, I missed that.
Glenda, Glenda.
No, we're still on for Tuesday.
Yeah. I appreciate that.
Okay, I'll see you then.
Everything I own is yours if you give up the dogs.
They haven't seen me all day.
- Neither have I. I'm not barking. - Yes, you are.
We need to talk. Let's go upstairs.
- No, the garden. - The garden?
Yes, it's quieter there.
I've got some wonderful news.
- Oh, God, no! - What?
- They ate my corn. - Dogs?
The rabbits ate my corn.
I've got some exciting news.
- I could cry. - To hell with the corn.
We could go to Europe on what we spend growing corn.
- I want to talk. Sit down, please. - Sorry. What is it?
They offered me attorney general. Stan called himself.
Ira, I'm so happy for you. You deserve it.
You'll be the most decent attorney general ever.
- I'll try, Glen. - What a wonderful surprise!
You want another one? Your ex-husband robbed a bank.
Nick? Robbed a bank? I don't believe it.
Believe it. Our wedding pictures weren't this good.
It's not like him. He'd never rob a bank.
- He'd never rob a bank. - Must've needed money.
- You don't get rich in a Mexican jail. - Exactly.
He goes to Mexico to write about illegal aliens...
...and goes to jail for drug smuggling. It's not him.
Have you ever thought anyone was guilty?
Wild Kingdom or me?
They're getting off. Come on, get down. Get down, Hamlet.
Why am I always the last one to get in bed with you?
Going to sleep with that under the pillow?
He looks so gaunt. So thin.
Don't worry. They'll feed him great at San Quentin.
- Ira. - What?
If they catch Nick, how will you feel if I defended him?
Like the mess you cleaned up on the stairs.
There's one under the blanket. Another goddamn dog.
There's hair everywhere. The place is covered with hair.
I can feel it on my legs.
Thanks a lot. Come back again.
- What the hell are you doing? - I didn't get my candy.
- Don't shoot. I'm a family man! - I want my Milk Duds.
We don't keep cash at night. Only credit cards.
I don't want credit cards. I want my Milk Duds.
I haven't eaten in two days, I'm desperate. Now, move!
No peanut butter. I don't like it.
Nestle Crunch? They're good.
I just want what I paid for.
We don't have Milk Duds, you want a Clark bar?
- How about a Crispy? A Zagnut? - Zagnut's good. Zagnut.
Okay, turn around and count to 600.
No funny business.
Try anything, and I'll be back tomorrow.
Four, five...
Stale! You guys ever change your candy?
10,11,12,13...
He copied all my notes in school, and he makes attorney general.
Can't fight crime without first experiencing it.
Chester, can I talk to you?
- Yeah. - I've been watching you.
Two hors d'oeuvres for you and one for the guests?
- Who, me? - You have one in your mouth.
- No, I don't. - Do I have to ask you to whistle?
I work two jobs, I have to eat for two jobs.
Give the guests first choice, and refill the tray.
Okay.
- What happened? - A pack of wild dogs jumped her.
They're not wild, they're friendly. They get carried away.
All right. Quiet. Didn't I say keep the door locked?
- You see Polonius, a little brown one? - He got out.
- What are you doing? - My cousin's fighting. He's losing.
At least he's working.
Now, keep the door-- Get over here. Locked.
- Anyone seen Polonius? - He went out that door.
- Know where he went? - He didn't say.
Any clean glasses? They're drinking out of their hands.
I understood that.
I'm gonna look for the dog.
Polonius! Here, boy! Come on.
- Good evening. - Are we too loud?
Mr. Parks asked us to keep watch.
- Have you seen a little dog? - I heard a noise in the garage.
It's probably him. The dog biscuits are there.
- I'll send out sandwiches. - Oh, thank you, ma'am.
Polonius.
Come on, baby. Where are you?
Are you in here? Come on--
Don't move. Don't make a sound.
Don't breathe. Don't bite. I told you not to bite.
It's me, Nick.
I'm in big trouble. I need your help.
If you'll help, nod your head twice.
If no, shake your head from side to side.
- I guess it's no. - Are you crazy? I couldn't breathe.
Do you know what it's like to get punched on an empty stomach?
- You could've got my back. - Why'd you come here, of all places?
- You're the only person who can help. - I can't help you.
Maybe I was thinking of someone else.
- What happened to your leg? - Pushed from a car at 65...
...rolled down a hill at 85. If I can stay here tonight--
- No, you can't stay here tonight. - You've done everything possible.
I have 60 guests, many looking for you.
Can I have food? I've had nothing but candy.
- I'm breaking out. - Hide in the car.
- I'll bring you some food. - No sweets. I've had enough.
You have lousy timing.
You have a hell of a face. It's nice to see you.
You're in huge trouble. Try to act like it.
Your eyes lit up the minute you saw me. I like that.
That battery's been dead for a long time.
It's okay.
Do you speak Spanish? No, but it's okay.
Excuse me. Chester.
Have you seen Mrs. Parks?
Is she still in the kitchen?
Are you all right?
- You're serving leftover chicken? - For me. I'm starved.
- I was bringing that home. - I'll eat outside.
There goes my beer too.
I need five minutes alone. Don't say where I am.
Okay.
Have you seen Mrs. Parks?
She's not outside eating chicken.
Hey! Conchita! Come on, you shouldn't be out here.
Shouldn't even be in the country.
Oh, Mrs. Parks, thank you.
We can't drink for another hour, but we'll take them.
- Okay. Enjoy yourselves. - Thanks again.
Bye, boys.
Nick.
- What are you doing back there? - Nothing yet.
This won't look good on your record. Let's go.
Hurry UP-
Get back to work. I'm not paying you for kissing.
Nick?
What kind of parties do you throw?
Easy, watch the license plate.
- Know what your guests were doing? - They're help.
They're having more fun than your guests.
If you're low on oil, I drank it. Okay, where's the food?
I had chicken.
You ate my chicken?
The police took it.
They took it? It was illegal chicken?
They're guarding. Important people are here.
You can't stay. They'll find you. Leave.
How far will I get on Zagnuts and oil?
The one person I thought I could rely on.
Don't say that. You know I pride myself on being reliable.
I'm sorry.
- I'll be back later. - When?
I can't keep bringing chicken out. It isn't a takeout shop.
- When they're gone. A few hours. - I don't want to hurt you.
If I'm putting you in jeopardy, I'll leave now.
I'm okay. Fine.
The poor, soulful look won't work.
I thought I did it right.
If you're starving, there's some biscuits in the corner.
- What a lovely dress, Roberta. - Thank you.
- Having a good time? - Terrific.
- I've been looking for-- What's that? - What's what?
You have a smudge.
That? That's barbeque sauce.
- Black barbeque sauce? - It's Mexican.
- Very hot. Don't eat it. - I wasn't going to.
Drive careful, judge. You're not in your district.
I'm exhausted. I'll lie on the lawn and sleep.
- Go to bed. I'll clean up. - You'll clean up?
- What are those criminals for? - I sent them home. They worked hard.
I saw Chester dancing. I swear I saw him dancing.
I'm so tired. Let's go to bed.
Tell me in the morning if we made love.
- I think we had a nice party. - Oh, yeah.
- I'll lock up the back. - I did it.
- Where are you going? - Where am I going?
I can't sleep. I'm...
...nervous. I've got to do something.
I'll go work in the garden.
At 2:00 in the morning?
That's when rabbits eat the corn. It's the best time to catch them.
- Are you crazy? Coming inside? - Those dog biscuits made me drool.
- But you couldn't walk. - An ant army carried me.
- I was about to eat a dog. - Hamlet remembers you.
Asked him to drop me a card and he was too busy.
Out of the way, boy. I've got to sit.
You need a doctor.
I'll get Ira. We'll talk it over, and decide what to do.
That's a great idea.
D.A. can be a big help at a roadblock.
- Don't watch. - I've got to tell him.
I haven't lied to him. I won't start now.
- Stop me if I eat my fingers. - Did you rob that bank?
- Sort of. - What?
Yes, but I didn't enjoy it. I can't explain.
I need help. I need a place to stay.
I need money and a suit.
- Beige would be nice. - Listen.
Call the police and give up.
Ira and I will do all we can to help you.
I'm getting him.
Glen! You try it, and I'll use this on both of you.
- You're so desperate, you'd kill me? - I'd need bullets, then maybe.
- I'm getting Ira. - Glenda, I'm innocent.
- Like you were in Mexico? - Exactly.
It's coincidental, but I never smuggled drugs from Mexico.
I was doing a story on illegal aliens.
I gave some guys 100 bucks to show me how the network was run.
I didn't know I was sitting on a bump of heroin.
- You could've looked. - I won't go back.
I spent two years with cockroaches who committed suicide. Will you help me?
Not by breaking the law.
You shouldn't have married a D.A. You lost your pizzazz.
Give me some money, I'll crawl along.
- I'm sorry. I won't help you. - I see.
Well, don't count on my support for lra's campaign.
Look how upset the dogs are.
What am I gonna do?
Oh, come on, don't cry. Don't cry. Don't do this to me.
All right, I'll get him.
Oh, God! How'd you--?
I didn't quite make it to the driveway, did I?
- What are you doing? - Hoses go in the garage.
- You'll wake up Ira. - Get the food.
Stay in the room over the garage.
- You have to go tomorrow. - Something I said?
Thanks to you, Ira will lose and I'll be divorced.
- What are friends for? - You have none.
No other girl you could go to?
They aren't reliable. They just want sex.
Sorry, you're choking me to death.
- You gain weight or am I skinny? - Touch me for help, not enjoyment.
Times like this, I wonder why we got divorced.
Because of times like this.
- You climb up the steps? - Can you send them down?
- Oh, come on. - Oh, shit.
What happened? I was getting worried.
It was the rabbits. I chased them for three blocks.
You must be exhausted.
Lam. I just want to sleep.
Will you be too tired to help me in the morning?
To do what?
I wanna set up a campaign office in the room over the garage.
I'll gel it. I'll do it.
I'll do it. You have enough to worry about.
Count on me, Ira. I'll do it.
Who's that?
Have them shot, Ira, please?
What time is it? Ira?
God!
Ira!
- Where's Mr. Parks? - Took my broom, I don't know what for.
- Shit! - Maybe it was.
- Ira! - What?
What's wrong?
- Telephone! - Take a message, I'm looking in here.
- Let me explain. - Explain what?
How...
- How this could be a terrific office. - Who was it?
- Who was what? - On the telephone.
Oh, it was for me.
Then why did you yell "Ira"?
In case it was for you.
You haven't had your coffee yet. We need more phones in here.
What are you doing down there?
- Looking for phone outlets. - They're here.
Well, that's the best place for it!
- God bless you. - What?
- I sneezed. - Gesundheit.
Thank you.
- Could we go some place and talk? - What's wrong with here?
I need to talk to you in private. It's an intimate matter.
- This isn't intimate? - It's a guest room.
Glenda, come and sit down.
Glenda, what's wrong with you?
Is it Nick? I mean, it's Nick, isn't it?
- If so, I don't want to hear it. - It's Nick.
I knew it was Nick.
He's not even in custody and he's convicted.
Nobody's convicted him! He'll have plenty of time to explain.
- I can explain. - Where is this information from?
From Nick. He was the rabbit I was chasing.
He was the rabbit? What did he say?
That's between me and my client.
Your client? Sit down. Are you crazy?
Keeping information from me, the D.A.?
Not even to mention Ira, your husband.
- I'll confide in you if you're Ira. - All right, I'm Ira, not the D.A.
No, you're the district attorney.
With luck, I may still have a shot at security guard at the museum.
Where is he?
Will you try to have Nick put in our custody until the trial is set?
You want me to adopt him? We'll make The National Enquirer.
Then we have nothing further to discuss.
All right, wait a minute. What happened in Carmel?
He was in a friend's cabin in Big Sur, working on a book.
Two men walked in, kidnapped him and stole his car.
They forced him at gunpoint to hold up the bank.
Then they escaped, took the money, kicked him out, leaving him for dead.
- You believe that story? - Yes, I do.
Wait a minute. Let me get this straight.
- Two men walked into his cabin. - Right, right.
They kidnapped him, stole his car.
- Right, that's it. - They forced him to hold up a bank.
- Yeah. Right. - Then kicked him out.
- You got it. - They left him for...
- You got it. - They left him for dead?
- That's it. I saw him limping. - Oh, he was limping!
I didn't know that. Of course he's innocent.
Limpers always tell the truth!
He's a drug smuggler! How can you believe him?
I'm gonna give you five seconds to tell me where he is.
One, two-- No, you don't get five seconds. That's it!
I'm worried about our relationship.
I also won't be home for dinner tonight.
You forgot about the beige suit.
Oh, shut up!
Easy, easy. Don't leave the leg behind.
Oh, thank you.
Sorry, but I was listening. Your speech was aces.
I didn't buy that story, but it was first-rate.
Did you see that awful, hurt look he had in his eyes?
No, but his shoes looked pretty bad.
Why am I doing all this? Why do I believe you?
You haven't taken any of this seriously.
You're having the best time.
Look at you! With that silly smirk on your face.
I tried a serious smirk, but it didn't work.
It's all just a game to you. I bet you hurt your leg on purpose.
- You once had a sense of humour. - It was the clay I married you.
You haven't changed in all these years.
You're still a boy. When will you grow up?
Lam trying. I grew a moustache, but it fell off.
Let's forget about it. Just lend me a cup of pencils and I'll go.
Watch out. They'll see you.
- The instinct never dies. - What instinct?
- Protect your loved ones. - Ira's the loved one.
How can I deal with this without hurting him?
We used to fight a lot. Aside from a divorce, it didn't harm us.
Mrs. Parks!
- What? - Don't snap at me.
I'm sorry. I have a headache through my entire body.
Okay. Your office called.
Conchita and Rosita have been pushed back to 10:30 a.m.
At 9:30 you got the boys who took a swing at the policeman.
- What boys? - They busted up the welfare office.
When did they take a swing at a policeman?
- Last night, in the stolen car. - What stolen car?
- Mr. Parks' stolen car. - They stole Mr. Parks' car?
Yeah. He's calling the taxi.
I never heard police use language like that.
Why did I wake up today? Tell them that I'll be right there.
- Did you want breakfast? - Who cares about breakfast?
- Eggs. - Eggs.
- Bacon, waffles, toast. - Bacon, waffles, toast.
Coffee.
More eggs.
Thank you.
- Now, you see what you've done? - Who, me?
If I wasn't wasting time on you, I could have watched those boys.
They would have brought the car back.
They just went to pick up their cousin.
I'll run along. I can see you have your hands full.
Nick, please give yourself up. For all of our sakes.
Your picture's in a Mexican prison. I described you to an artist.
Guys wanted to rent it out, but I said no.
Mrs. Parks!
This couldn't possibly be good. Stay there.
- What now? - The doggies ran away again.
Naturally.
- What should I do? - Nothing, I'll get new ones.
Oh, no.
- What are you doing? - I'm going.
Now? In daylight?
Who'll notice a limping robber with his picture in the newspapers?
- Where are you going? No, don't say. - My only chance is to find those guys.
I just want to say that last night seemed like old times.
You know?
Bye. Where's my horse? I'm supposed to jump on a horse.
Wait. I'll get you money and food.
And that's the last thing I'll do for you.
You ever call my name when you're making love?
I bet Ira grinds his teeth when you do.
- I need the house money. - I used it to pay the foot doctor.
I can't work with bad feet. Breakfast is ready.
Wrap it up. I'll take it.
- Do you want to hear my side? - The meter's ticking.
I'm sorry about your car. Take mine.
We should get a third one. Yours, mine and theirs.
Get out of there!
Glenda! Will you get the dogs?
Come on, get out! Get out! Please. Come on, get out!
Get out! Come on, please. Please get out. That's it, go.
Okay, let's go.
Just keep saying to yourself, 12 more years to retirement.
Who's this? I don't like the looks of him.
Hey, what are you doing there, man?
Mrs. Parks! Mrs. Parks! I got a burglar!
I got him, clean as a whistle. He's dead for sure.
- What? - The burglar by the garage.
I yelled and he fell clown those stairs.
I knew I'd catch a crook hanging around here.
- Where is he? Where'd he go? - He was laying right there, dead.
I'll take care of this.
Nick? Nick, are you in here?
"There are some things a man has to do alone.
This is not one of them, so I'm going for help."
Oh, Nick. Crazy idiot!
God, I gotta rest. I can't keep this up.
Mrs. Parks!
- What? - We'll be late for court.
- Did you get gas for the car? - You didn't say get gas.
- Now we're gonna be late for court. - That's what I said.
I'll call the police. I don't want no burglars here.
It was the decorator that I hired to redo that room.
Don't tell Mr. Parks. It's a surprise.
He didn't look like no decorator.
My briefcase. Stop! Go back.
Yes, ma'am.
When my brain's unscrambled, I'm firing you.
Would you get my case? It's upstairs.
Flash Gordon will return!
Oh, God, what next?
Don't ask me.
- It's your day for the carpool. - You said you were leaving.
That was before I dislocated my shoulder.
- I don't know where you're going. - I told you, Big Sur.
And I just give you my car?
No, I steal it. Just leave the keys.
We've had a car stolen. We're over our quota.
- What will I tell Chester? - He'll never know I'm here.
- You forgot your breakfast. - I'm not hungry anymore.
Thank you.
- Watch the bumps. - We not even gonna touch asphalt.
- I don't want an airplane. Slow down. - Yes, ma'am. Are you gonna eat?
- No. - Thank you.
Keep your eyes on the road. I'll get it.
Here.
- I guess Aurora forgot it. - I saw her put it in. It dropped out.
Eyes on the road!
You went through a stop sign.
That's what I get for watching the road.
Oh, God! The police!
Oh, God, I knew this would happen. Stay down.
- Yes, ma'am. - Not you.
- You know you went through a stop? - I was about to back up and stop.
Your license.
I'm afraid this is my fault. We were rushing to get to court.
I'm Mrs. Ira Parks, the D.A.'s wife.
- Mrs. Parks. Nice to see you again. - Again?
You brought chicken and beer out to us.
Oh, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Awfully nice of you. Watch that sign next time.
- You bet I will. - Just one other thing.
- Yes? - Why is that man on the floor?
- What man? - That man.
- Oh, that man! - Yes, ma'am.
- Why is he on the floor? - Ls he okay?
- Yes, he's fine. - Oh, where am I? What happened?
- He was... - Hit.
- He was hit! - They ran.
- Then he ran. - They ran.
They ran. They hit him and ran. The car came and hit him and ran.
- Did you see the accident? - No, I came late.
He went in to get my breakfast. I pulled him in.
I, of course, will represent him.
- Can I have your name? - Harris J. Friedlander, from Oxnard.
- Business? - Designer.
We carve presidential heads from driftwood.
We employ veterans and the handicapped.
Do you have any identification?
- They mugged me. - They mugged you.
- After they hit me. - Did you get the license number?
No chance. I was up and down so fast.
We should get to the hospital.
- Weren't you rushing to court? - After. After the hospital.
- Follow us. Stick to my tail. - Right. Over and out.
- Don't ask me any questions. - Yes, ma'am.
Hot damn, I finally get a chance to chase the police!
That bacon was overdone.
Is that all that's worrying you?
Disbarment and disgrace are all that lies ahead.
That, and a big truck.
- Are we alive? - We won't know for a few minutes.
- Can we do that again? - Chester!
- Want to hear my plan? - No. I want you out of my life.
That's part of it. I kidnap you, we lose the cops.
I dump you off and steal the car.
How you gonna do that? I'm driving.
- Because I'm holding the gun. - I buy that.
Turn left.
Don't listen. Nick, if you're innocent, they won't send you to jail.
- That true? - Not in my neighborhood.
- Then turn here. - If you turn, you're fired.
- If you don't, I fire. - There's no bullets.
- Can you trust a woman who lies? - I want a raise.
Giving escort to a Mrs. Ira Parks, license number...
Where the hell did they go?
Stop right here.
I think I'm two inches shorter.
Get out of the car. Come on, move.
Coming along? We never did finish that honeymoon.
Nick, why are you doing this?
Since I was a kid, I've had a crazy desire never to go to jail.
Bye, Glen. One more little one?
Are you sure you can drive?
A vehicle wasn't built that I can't handle.
Where were you? I've been trying your radio.
Try smoke signals. Indians stole my car.
- Indians? - My wife's.
- Her car was just stolen too. - Who did it?
- Her ex-husband. - She reported it?
- She was in it. - With him?
He hid in back with a gun. Later he let her go.
- The chauffeur verified it. - The chauffeur?
A felon who stole the hubcaps off six cars at a funeral.
He verified it?
The governor's telling his secretary not to take my calls.
- Wrong. He's been calling you. - Don't take his calls.
- And they just borrowed this car? - I had no objection.
- Have they found jobs? - Yes, they do odd jobs for me at home.
"Odd" is right. Next time they borrow the car, tell your husband.
- I don't want them here again. - Yes.
Case dismissed.
- Thanks. - Keep out of trouble.
Next case.
Rosita Sanchez and Conchita Velasquez.
- I represent these women. - Naturally.
- I'm also their employer. - Of course.
I have a son who's looking for a job this summer.
If he gets into trouble, have him call me.
Need a ride tomorrow?
No, I see my car is back. But I'll check with you just in case.
- Good night. - All right, thank you.
Stop it! It's me! Why didn't you bark when they took my car?
Hi. Wanna talk about it?
Have a glass of wine, get into bed and I'll tell you the whole story.
He was here last night. Where? In the garage?
- Over the garage. In the spare room. - Of course.
Why didn't you invite him up? We could have squeezed him in.
He was injured. He could hardly walk.
He was cold, starved and innocent.
I was the only person he could turn to.
You're the only one anyone can turn to. Except me.
That's not true. I'm always here for you.
You come first with me. You know that.
- I'm here for you now. - Now? Where is he, under the bed?
- I don't know where he is. - You swear that's the truth?
- Really? - Really.
- Sometimes I get a little crazy. - I know.
- Overreact a little. - I know.
Where was he when we were in the spare room?
He was under the bed.
No wonder you offered me wine. Maybe I should try drugs.
- Where are you going? - To sleep in the spare room.
Let go of me, damn it! It's me!
- Hello. - I can't sleep. Can you?
- Not a wink. - Bring the wine over.
- You mean it? - We can take a vacation up here.
Isn't the bed small?
- Not for me. - I'll be right over.
Peace?
I'm sorry if I hurt you.
Don't be silly. I just wanted some attention.
Well, you got it.
Glad I never faced you in court, especially in that nightgown.
- Want some wine? It's nice and cold. - I'm just the opposite.
There's not much room here.
You can trust me. I grew up in a Volkswagen.
Oh, shit!
- Are you all right? I'm sorry. - I'm fine.
- Wait. Let me think about what to do. - What to do? I'll do it all.
- Not here! - Not here? Why not here?
- Let's go. - Where?
I don't know. I can't relax. Ira, we need to talk.
If it's about Nick, I don't wanna discuss it.
I want one night alone. No dogs, cats or ex-husbands. Just us.
- All right? - All right.
Remember that moonlight swim at Lake George?
Don't talk about it.
- I just don't want to talk about it. - You were naked.
- Don't talk about it! I wasn't! - Okay, we don't have to say anything.
What is it? Ls it me? Is it something I've done?
Is it Nick? All right, that's it!
It's clear we'll never have any peace until that man is out of our lives.
Give up the past, or you'll have to give up the present.
You can't fix the entire world.
You said "I do" to me, but you're still saying "I did" to him.
I'm better off sleeping with the goddamn dogs.
I know when I'm not wanted.
See that telephone?
You have exactly 10 seconds before the police surround this area.
- Next time, I'll hide in your bedroom. - I am crossing.
- The three of us make a great pair. - I'm dialing.
Alternating husbands.
I'm talking. Hello? This is Mrs. Ira Parks.
The fugitive you're looking for has just broken into our house.
I'll miss my old room.
I'll never sleep on top of a bed again.
I'm sorry I woke you up, Aurora. I'll explain in the morning.
Captain Anderson, please.
- I've gotta tell you something. - I know.
- Sam, my car was stolen again. - Oh, God.
It's driving away, right now.
My bet is it's Nicholas Gardenia. I win my bets.
If he scratches a fender, you may use police brutality.
- He was under the bed. - You didn't want to talk about him.
Telling me a man's under the bed isn't talking about him.
Why didn't you point down? I would have been mildly curious.
- He probably got there before you. - He always gets there before me!
Okay. You win. You're too smart for us, Ira.
Nick and I divorced so I could marry you...
...and you'd buy a house with a spare room.
So, after he was kidnapped, spent time in jail, robbed a bank...
...and fled from the police, he could hide here.
So, while we celebrated you running for attorney general...
...I could sneak away...
...and be able to spend 35 seconds alone with Nick!
I've been found out. I confess. I confess!
- You're having a breakdown. - A big one!
It's been coming a long time, and this is it!
What are you doing? What's wrong?
I'm hyperventilating. I can't breathe.
That's all you're doing.
It's too much breathing. I'm losing my carbon dioxide.
- You want a glass of water? - I can't drink when I'm breathing.
- I breathe a lot. I drink water. - You're not hysterical.
- You wanna lie down? - No. Leave me alone. I wanna lie down.
Why is it when I bring something up, you won't do it?
- Because I don't want to. - You just did.
- Just let me lie down. - You are lying down.
- Okay, I'll go to the window. - No! He'll come through it again.
Calm. I have to get calm.
Don't excite me. Don't mention Nick. Nick excites me.
Not that way. The other way. The bad way.
Don't worry about anything. He'll never bother us again.
We'll kill him. The man is dead.
Don't go away!
Lock the door.
Don't leave me!
- Look under the bed. - He's not there. He's in my car.
He's like a termite. Is he there?
- No, he's not there. - Look again.
He's not there. I swear. We have the room all to ourselves.
Ira, we've got to keep him out. It's our only chance.
Put some garlic around the window.
Maybe a big cross over the bed. We've got to protect ourselves.
- They catch the first Mr. Parks? - I'm the first Mr. Parks.
Oh, yeah.
And be quiet. Mrs. Parks isn't feeling well.
I get today off?
Wash the windows. The governor's coming for dinner.
He ain't gonna be looking out no windows.
- Good morning. - Not for me.
- What's wrong? - It's in the letter.
- Can't you just tell me? - I can't stop once I've started.
The governor's coming for dinner. Please serve at 8.
- I can't. I'm going to the hospital. - What do you mean?
- That's why I'm writing the letter. - Just tell me.
The letter says, "The doctor says I gotta have my feet scraped.
The doctor says, 'You gotta be off your feet for two days.“
- I can't read it all. I gotta go. - With the governor coming? And dinner?
He can have mine. I hate hospital food.
I called my sisters, but they're busy. I'm very sorry.
You can't just leave. What will I do?
If I were you, I'd put my chicken up pretty soon.
Don't step on my feet!
Morning.
Coffee.
- I've never felt this bad. - Wait. It's early yet.
- What's this? - A letter from Aurora.
- Can't you read it to me? - Frankly, I haven't got the heart.
- Who's going to the hospital? - Aurora.
- How will she make dinner? - She's not.
- She's not? - Nope.
- With the governor coming? - Yes.
I don't believe it.
- Swear? - Swear.
- No chicken pepperoni? - She's having her feet scraped.
- How long does that take? - Longer than making chicken pepperoni.
Can you make it? We're in trouble.
- I'll make something else. - He wants chicken pepperoni.
- Cancel. - He's making a special trip.
- For chicken pepperoni? - No, to make me attorney general.
What if I make veal parmigiana?
With your ex-husband around, we're safer with pepperoni.
- Don't yell. - I'm not, I'm screaming.
We need chicken pepperoni!
I'll make it! Don't make me crazy. I can't cook when I'm crazy.
- I'm not making you crazy. - Yes, you are!
Being forced to make pepperoni makes me crazy.
And you are making me crazy.
I'm not making her crazy.
Hold on a second. Jackie, take all this down.
- I think we got something. - So have I.
Go ahead.
Got it.
Two cans tomato paste. Sliced green peppers.
Pimiento. Sausage.
Veal? It's chicken pepperoni.
What's the difference? Lots of difference.
Call somebody.
Could you call somebody in Sicily? Try, Joe. Please try.
Can you believe what I'm doing? What's this?
- What do you see? - Hitler!
Hitler on Candid Camera.
Here's the other photo from the bank. Look at the figures in the background.
Look at the enlargement.
Bee Gee Ramone and Warren Dexter, twice-convicted robbers.
Each time, they forced a bystander to hand the note to the teller.
- They're shy about pictures. - So?
It's possible Gardenia may be innocent.
I had my heart set on sending him to jail.
The governor's on two.
Stanley, Freddie just got new information...
...that may clear up everything.
Okay, I'll tell you later. Yeah, we're still on. 8:00.
Aurora's chicken pepperoni. I know how you love it.
Okay. See you then.
- Love that chicken pepperoni. - Don't start with me.
Oh, here it is.
- Glenda. - Oh, God!
Jesus, it looks like an Italian movie.
Knock it off. I've had a rough day.
This is my third batch of sauce.
Where are the Mexican girls and Indian boys?
They got jobs today. Jobs I got them.
- Whose recipe is this? - Aurora's.
- It's great! - It's in Spanish.
- Who's gonna serve? - Chester.
- He'll eat it all. - I'm not eating it.
- Where is he? - In the dining room.
Come on, guys. Who's game for one more taste?
- Is that our good crystal? - It was.
Try to be more careful.
- Have you ever served before? - I worked at McDonald's.
No paper napkins. Get linen ones. The governor's coming.
- I know. - That tuxedo looks very nice.
It's yours. Mrs. Parks gave it to me.
- This glass looks dirty. - Yeah, it is.
- Clean the glass. - Yes, sir.
Man says clean it, then I clean it.
- Do I look all right? - I told you six times, you look fine.
Glen, they're here.
- Didn't you hear the door? - I heard the bell.
The hell's on the door.
- Why didn't you answer it? - I'm watching the sauce.
- You're watching TV. - I watch the sauce during commercials.
Answer the door!
Nice to see you. What's happening, brother?
- Good evening. - Glad you made it.
- Are we the first ones? - Yes.
- Anne. - Hi, Ira.
How are you?
- Freddie. Any word on my car? - No, but we got the stereo and phone.
- How? - He sold it.
- Bigtime limousine coming. - Close the door.
Why don't you make yourselves a drink?
When the bell on the door rings, open the door.
Don't I always?
Glenda. Wake up, honey. The governor's here.
Wake up. That's it. The governor's here.
I can't. Go on without me. Save yourself.
- Which dress do you want? - I don't care. You pick it out.
- How about the one with the flowers? - Fine.
Come on, honey. Come on, babe.
Here we are. Just get your arm in there.
No, wait a second. Take this off. Here.
- Honey, don't! - All right, okay. Wait a second.
This is turning out to be a fine-wine party.
I'd like a restructuring of gun control in our state.
We need better legislation and people, like Ira, to enforce it.
Stanley, sorry I'm late.
- Hello, Ira. You remember Deidre? - Nice to see you.
Dinner is served.
- No, it isn't. - It isn't?
Mrs. Parks is upstairs.
- I thought 8:00 meant 8:00. - No, 8:00 means 8:30, 8:45.
He's new.
- Hello, everybody. - Hi, Glenda.
Don't mind the way I look. Ira dressed me.
If you look like that, then he can dress me any time.
It's me, the first husband!
Can we do something about that?
It's the dogs. Chester, would you quiet them?
Sure thing.
- The governor didn't get his drink. - I'm sorry.
I'll take this, Stanley.
You must all be starving. Why don't we have dinner?
Hey. Quiet! Quiet!
- Those are our dogs. - Yeah, I assumed.
- Are there any more? - No, that's it.
- The house is lovely. What did you do? - We had it reshingled.
Now, Anne, you sit next to Stanley.
Fred, to my left. Deidre.
Then we have boy, girl, boy...
...girl, governor, girl.
Shut up or I'll tie your tails together!
Come on! Get out of here.
- Hey, Chet. Mrs. Parks in? - Yes, with the governor of California.
The gov's here? Good. Tell Mrs. P I'm here.
Yeah, I will.
Ira tells me you placed four more of those probationers with jobs.
By cutting unemployment and crime...
...we won't need a governor or attorney general.
- Then you can all come work for me. - It's a deal.
I got good news and I got bad news.
- You're drunk. - That's the good news.
What's the bad news?
- What's wrong, Glenda? - It's all right. It's nothing.
She's hyperventilating.
- I need fresh air. - I'll join you.
No! I need my own fresh air. Stay!
She hasn't been sleeping well.
I hope they shoot you in my kitchen...
...drag your dead body out, and shoot you again.
- Relax, I'm giving myself up. - What?
I hate being a fugitive. It's hard to find a bathroom.
Nick, you mean it? You'll surrender?
I began to think of how unfair this is to you and Myron.
Ira.
If I were to put myself in anyone's hands, it'd be yours.
I love these hands. Soft, delicate, yet strong and firm.
Some nights, they'd rip my back apart.
I'm glad that you've come to your senses.
We had something good. We had something real and permanent.
Something that couldn't be ruined by you marrying someone else.
Why don't you wait here and I'll get Myron?
Ira.
No. Don't do this. We're in the middle of soup.
- You miss the fun. - No.
- The laughs. The pizzas in the tub. - No.
- The ice cubes in the bed. - No.
No! I love Ira. I've never been more content.
Content? Content isn't excitement. Content is content.
Whenever I came near you...
...you used to shake and quiver.
That's what you're doing right now. Shaking and quivering.
That's because I'm up against the refrigerator.
I want you back.
I'll share you with Ira. I'm out of town a lot anyway.
You're confusing me.
I can't handle a lunatic ex-husband and a dinner party.
I'm gonna kiss you now.
If you don't feel a thing, I'll never kiss you again.
No. I'm married and the governor's inside.
You won't have to tell me. I'll feel it.
However, should something occur, feel free to speak up.
Excuse me, they want their chicken now.
He just surrendered to me.
- I came to kiss everybody goodbye. - I'll get Hyram.
Myron.
Ira, to come in, and you can surrender to him formally.
The governor will like that.
- This calls for a drink. - I'll call for one.
- Sorry I took so long. - Are you okay?
- You don't look okay. - Yes, I do. Don't I?
- She looks fine. - She looks okay.
She's gorgeous.
- How's she look to you, Fred? - Fine.
Tell me the truth. Am I drunk?
- Very. Can you serve? - I can drive, but I can't serve.
- Just get through the chicken. - What about the door?
I'll give you the dish.
If I even smell that sauce, I'm gonna be sick.
Stand up, Chester.
Hold out your hands.
Okay, here we go.
Pretty good. Timing's a little off.
I'd like to have a meeting with our entire team...
...and coordinate our ideas.
- I look forward to that. - More chicken?
- More? We haven't had any. - I meant any more.
Why don't you ring the bell, honey?
Fred and I already have a plan which deals with your concerns.
The system is quite antiquated.
We spend mountains of man-hours on issues which should take...
...only a fraction of that time.
Thank you, Chester.
You okay? Chester--
Holy shi-- I beg your pardon, governor.
What's wrong?
Nothing, Stanley. Everything's fine.
Ira. Fred. It's all right. Trust me.
- What's all right? - The chicken, sir.
Would you mind holding this for one brief second?
I'll get you this breast. I think you'll enjoy this.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
You look familiar.
I've been here quite often. My name's Nicholas. Beautiful choice.
- Thank you, Nicholas. - You're welcome.
Sorry.
- Where's Chester? - He's out.
It smells terrific.
- What should I do? - About what?
The chicken.
Fred's a vegetarian and doesn't know if he should eat it.
Why ask ha?
Ira used to be a vegetarian and knows what you should eat.
Eat the chicken.
It's tangier than last time. I like that.
It's something I picked up in Mexico. Some more sauce?
You certainly look familiar. You've never served me before?
- I voted for you. Maybe that was it. - Thank you.
- I remember the reason-- - That'll be all.
Go away.
- I'd never take him for a butler. - Me either.
Interesting help. Where did you find him?
I've had him for years.
Excuse me.
Odd time to use the John.
He came to surrender.
He's under my bed, drives my car, wears my tuxedo. I want to meet him.
- You're under arrest. - Police are coming.
- Didn't like the chicken? - This is Ira, my husband.
That's right. You were in the bed above me.
I know.
Are you out of your mind? Who's going to serve the coffee now?
I think you've unraveled. Your spool is unwinding.
Let's finish dinner. We'll worry about him later.
Chester, take care of him.
Sorry.
Should the second group go?
Before this goes any further, I owe you an enormous apology.
- For what? - The butler.
Nonsense. I know how it is with help.
He's not help. He's Glenda's ex-husband.
The one wanted for robbery?
- That's the one. - I see.
This ought to be a very interesting explanation.
Exactly.
- Glenda, do you want to explain it? - No.
Excuse me, governor.
- May I have a word with you, sir? - I'm busy. Later.
I'm afraid it won't wait, sir.
All right. If you'll excuse me a moment.
- What happened to his eye? - Ira punched him.
Really? No wonder you have trouble with your help.
If you'll excuse me for a moment.
- What was that? - Probably Nicholas punching Ira out.
- There goes Fred. - Oh, my God! Somebody do something.
See how I remain calm? That's because I'm the governor.
- That's why I voted for you, Stanley. - Thank you.
She shouldn't be in there alone.
- Would you like a cigar, Stanley? - I'd love one.
You rang, madame?
- You asleep? - Of course not.
- What are you thinking about? - Same thing you are.
- Does he still mean anything to you? - Please don't ask that.
Too late, I already did. Does he, Glen?
He's my client. I shouldn't be discussing him with you.
I love you. I'm gonna do everything I can to fight for you.
I love you, and I'm gonna do everything I can to fight for you.
Nicholas J. Gardenia. Step forward, please.
Hello, Mrs. Parks.
- Good morning. - What have you got today?
Your clients have moved up to the bigtime.
Robbery, breaking and entering, stolen car...
...assault on the district attorney.
You haven't been in court for a while. Special interest?
It's all in my brief, Your Honor.
Unusual for the defending and prosecuting lawyers to be married.
- As well as the accused. - What's that?
Mr. Gardenia was my husband prior to Mr. Parks.
I didn't hear that. Can you speak up?
I was married to him before I was married to him.
Can't say I blame you for not speaking up.
- It's all in the record. - What's this breaking and entering?
He's charged with breaking...
...into 242 Lotus Drive in Brentwood. Happens to be my house.
- Yours too, Mrs. Parks? - Yes.
- You have the same complaint? - No.
- You don't mind the break-in? - He came for help.
- You invited him? - No. He had nowhere to go.
- The police were after him. - You aided a known criminal?
- He had a gun. - He threatened you?
No. He had no bullets.
- How do you know? - He told me.
- You told her? - I didn't want to scare her.
- Mr. Parks, where were you? - I was in bed. It was 2 a.m.
- Weren't you concerned for your wife? - No.
She said she was gardening.
The rabbits were eating her corn.
Your Honor...
...this type of testimony seems silly on the surface.
On the surface, in the middle and on the bottom.
- Your client stole your car, correct? - No, it's not.
- I saw him steal my car. - I saw him bring it back.
- You want to take a whack at it? - I stay out of family quarrels.
He didn't steal it. He was on the floor when I left.
My husband's car was taken by our Indian workers.
- The Indians? Our Indians? - Yes. You dismissed that charge.
Must have been saving my strength for today. Mr. Gardenia, answer a question.
If I can be of any help, it's my pleasure.
Were you caught or did you surrender?
- Surrendered. - Caught.
- He gave up first. - He didn't surrender to me.
He was going to after dinner. I told him to wait in the kitchen.
And did you wait there?
- No. I had to serve dinner. - Wait a minute.
- You served dinner to these two? - And the governor.
- Our governor? - I didn't ask. He looked like him.
Our guest list is irrelevant.
If we get into trivialities, we may as well discuss the food.
Chicken pepperoni. The governor enjoyed it.
Hold it, just-- Will you hold it?
While every policeman in California was after you...
...you were waiting on the district attorney, his wife and the governor?
- How? - You have to prepare everything early.
The other butler got sick.
- What other butler? - Me, Your Honor.
I know that face. Where do I know that face?
- From here. - Was he up on a hubcap-stealing charge?
That's right. I work for Mrs. Parks now.
Do you take just from me or from other judges too?
I'm doing something here.
- We should have a long talk. - I can't wait.
Anything special you'd like for dinner?
Would both counsels approach the bench?
And the accused as well. I think this might interest him.
Something fascinating has just come up.
Which in this case is redundant. But may I suggest...
...we just deal with the bank-robbing charges?
- That's fine. - I'm all for speed.
- Whatever she says. - Get your arm off her.
Bailiff, bring them in.
What are you doing here?
- Whose dog is this? - Me. They're mine.
They work for you too?
Only two. The other four are visiting.
I want quiet in this courtroom!
I don't expect to get it, but let's try.
Quiet, please! Quiet! Will somebody tell me what happened?
- Me, me, Mr. Honor. - No!
My name is Aurora de la Jolla. I'm the Parks' cook.
I come back to work this morning.
I was in the hospital. I had to get my feet scraped.
- Your what? - She had to have her feet scraped.
Please. Order, please.
Mrs. Parks, please remove this dog. He's dribbling on my briefs.
Excuse me.
Come on, Hamlet. Let's go.
- Keep them quiet. - Are you listening?
Sorry. Continue.
I go to the bank to get the money to feed the dogs...
...when suddenly these two gringos grab me and say:
"Hey, you! We're gonna rob a bank."
I'm so scared, I can't think how to say "help" in English.
The dogs see them and get worried, because if anything happens to me...
...they don't get their food.
So the dogs jump out and grab the gringos and chew them all up.
Your Honor. Your Honor?
These men kidnapped my client and made him rob the bank.
Then were caught by your cook and dogs?
Only two are ours, sir. The other four acted on their own.
Order, please. I assume that these gentlemen will plea-bargain...
...in return for admitting the innocence of the accused?
- Yeah. And, you know, man, yeah. - Well said. Well spoken, Bee Gee.
Apparently, we've cleared everything up.
All before lunch. I love when things zip along.
Case dismissed. Court's adjourned until 2 p.m.
- Going home now? - That's it.
Keep away from her, from my house.
Keep away from my car, my tuxedo, my chicken and my bed.
If I even see slippers, I'll shoot first and try them on after.
Come on, honey.
Ira, sorry I'm late. Somebody stole my car.
Glenda. Can I have just one minute with you?
Just one minute, Ira.
Time it.
- What if I said I'd change? - You wouldn't.
- What if I said I'd try? - You couldn't.
The hell with changing. What if I said...
...I'm still nuts about you?
What if I just grabbed you and ran?
I probably wouldn't do anything for a couple of weeks.
Then I'd come to my senses and run back to Ira.
I love him, Nick. We have respect for each other...
...and regard and esteem.
I love the way your eyes curl up at me.
I'm sorry. Regard, esteem...
And he's sweet and gentle.
- And he's very sexy. - Very sexy?
- Extremely sexy. - Extremely?
Enormously sexy. One of the sexiest men I've met.
Look, I gotta run along, I'm busy. Very happy for you.
- Thank you, Nick. - Mind if I give you a kiss goodbye?
No, I'd like that very much.
- Think Ira would mind? - Probably.
- Think we should ask him? - Probably.
Yo, Ira. Is it okay if I kiss her goodbye?
- No. - Just one little kiss.
Time it.
- Bye, Nick. - Bye, Glen.
So long, Ira. You take good care of our girl.
Ira, let's get away. Let's take a vacation. Just the two of us.
We need time away from work and careers.
- To get to know each other again. - Sounds good to me.
Let's just get in the car and drive. No phones.
- No dogs. - No dogs.
And nu one else in the world who knows where we are.
You got your wish. No one knows where we are, including us.
Ask if there's a motel around.
Good idea. Is there a motel around here?
Ira! Don't hit him!
Honey, are you all right?
I'm all right. Why is it always animals? I think my leg's broken.
- You okay? - I'm fine.
Go get help.
- I don't want to leave. - Find a telephone.
I'll be back as soon as I can. I love you.
Go away. Go home. Go home!
Oh, God!
Oh, thank God!
Help! Ls anybody home? There's been an accident!
Help! Help!
Help! I need help.